Thorax Region: Emotion / Energetic
Conditional Love toward others is caused by an immature emotional foundation which uses rewards and punishments in an attempt to communicate expectations designed to supply the individual’s emotional needs. Punishments are often passive-aggressive in nature such as the silent treatment and withering glances or disapproving comments. The individual usually feels justified in their judgments and often builds a convincing case that they are right and others are wrong.
The individual often subjects him or herself to the same exacting standards and berates their self for failing to live up to them. They may not take proper care of him or herself and fail to comprehend and accept appropriate social boundaries.
Ironically, people who suffer from conditional love sometimes make great shows of service. This may be motivated by sincere, conscious desires to serve and/or be due to their hypersensitivity to judgment created by their own dominant evaluation system and knack for manipulation.
Conditional love is caused by the internalization of negative beliefs about the self, especially regarding inadequacy, which leads to an attempt to generate emotional security through external conditions. Negative self perceptions may be induced by verbal abuse or worry as the individual (usually when young) blames him/herself when seeking to understand others’ unkind or unloving and unresponsive behaviors. Conditional love may impair the immune and lymphatic system, induce cancer, lung problems, and ear infections.
Emotional tolerance is possible only when one feels secure in his/her emotional self-identify. As the person is able to express tolerance toward self, they can then extend tolerance to others. As Zone 6 stress releases, the person grows free to exercise more mature methods of interacting with others and is sometimes surprised to realize how strongly they had allowed expectations to influence their treatment of others.